Posts Tagged ‘Blog’

I just finished up another class in my Creative Writing degree plan that was called Scriptwriting Techniques.  When I first started the class I was pretty upset because I had never even thought about writing a script, which of course is what I had to do in order to pass the class.  The largest portion of your final grade came from a 3-5 page script.  My first draft was full of action but lacked a lot of story and character development so I made sure to do my best to fix all those issues.  I’m posting my instructor’s feedback below, and will upload the script to my writing blog as soon as I get it copyrighted.

Layout & Format

No issues.

Story Notes

Jonathan, I really like how this is developing. It’s solid. However, don’t forget the human perspective in the end.

What is the apparent feeling of Davis and the men after all has transpired? How did this event change them forever? Get that in there and it will certainly be ready for production.

Demonstrated Strengths

Dialog is your strong suit. Your dialog is sharp and to the point.

Your description/action lines are consistently clear and efficient throughout your script. It is easy to visualize what is transpiring from moment to moment within the tale.

The pace of the story is solid, and your transitions from moment to moment are efficient and tightly structured.

Your script shows signs of screenwriting promise. I strongly encourage you to continue sharpening your skill sets and keep at this scriptwriting game.

It’s been a pleasure working with you this month. I wish you abundant success in all your future endeavors.

Remember that each class is an opportunity to convey the story of you in terms of where you fit into this nebulous world of media production. To make the most of every opportunity is all you ever need do.

In closing, my hope is that you live a troubled, conflicted life… But live to tell us exciting stories about it – stories that change our lives FOREVER. Hah! Make us realize we are not alone in the great struggle and celebration of life.

Be well, make good movies, and keep in touch,


So it looks like I have the potential to write decent scripts as well as stories and poetry.  I’m hoping to continue improving my writing and have something published within a couple of years.  Let me know what you think in the comments below.  Thanks as always for reading and until next time.



Posted: August 10, 2016 in Creative Writing
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I thought pretty hard about how to make my blog more appealing, and I finally decided on a course of action.  Within the next few days, I will be editing the layout of my site, as well as laying out my new site.  As I mentioned a few posts ago, I will be taking back to a nerd/fitness blog, focusing mainly on my nerd hobbies and fitness posts.  My goal is to post one nerd post and one fitness post a day, but as usual, we will see how that goes.

In addition to cleaning up this site, I will be opening my second site which will be  This new blog site will be focused on all my creative works.  I’ve been working on several projects, some for school and some on the side, and I would like to start sharing them as I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback on them.  Once that blog is open I’ll be sure to let everyone know.

I’m hoping by doing this my blog will be more appealing to everyone, and by focusing on certain activities hopefully I’ll keep the interest in my blog.  My daily life events will probably remain on the site as well, but if I start getting negative feedback, I’ll take that portion down.

Let me know what you think.  Thanks again as always for reading, and until next time.


Posted: August 10, 2016 in Creative Writing, Fitness
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I’ve had my FitBit for most of the year now, but only just recently started wearing it all day.  I’m not much of a watch person, so I would wear it to run and track my time/distance, but that was the extent of it.  When I started this new job however I saw that it requires a lot of walking, so I put the watch on and was amazed.

Let’s take yesterday as an example.  My shift starts at 0500 and by 0700 I was at 6,000 steps.  Now thats good, but we do work hardest at the beginning of our shift, so I looked after work, and I was at around 13,000 steps which for me equals a little over 5 miles!  

I’m not naive enough to think that walking alone will keep me in great shape, but it is a step in the right direction.

Tell me your daily routine to stay in shape in the comments below.  Do you use any special equipment regularly to keep you in shape?  Thanks for reading, time to head to work, so until next time…

As I’m sure you all know by now, not only do I work, but I’m a full-time student at Full Sail University.  I just recently finished a course called Scriptwriting Techniques which of course required the creation of a script.  I was doing well in the class and in week 3 of 4 we were supposed to revise our scripts, which I did, but here two weeks later my script is still ungraded yet my final score for the class was posted as a wonderful 68%.  Now I have been dealing with the school trying to figure out what is going on with my script, because for one I haven’t failed a class yet, and two the Army pays for my schooling so if I fail a course I have to pay back the Army (kind of good motivation to pass all my classes).  I don’t want to sound like I’m bitching (which I am), but venting is a more appropriate term.  I’m hoping my instructor gets back with me soon and lets me know what is going on so my grade can be updated in the system.  I mean really, I only need two more points to pass the class and there’s no way my script can be that bad especially since my first draft received an 84%.

Sorry for the gigantic paragraph, but thank you all for reading.

To Early

Posted: August 9, 2016 in Creative Writing
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So I’m not a morning person at all.  Even when I was on active duty, I couldn’t stand getting up for Physical Training every day at 0530.  No matter how early I get off after an early morning I feel drained for the rest of the day.

Take my current situation for example.  While I’m training as a Fire Marshal, I get up at 0330 in order to be to work by 0500.  The big problem for me is that I can never fall asleep befor 11pm so I’m only getting 4-5 hours of sleep a night.  Granted I get off at 1pm, but once I’m off all I want to do is take a nap.

I’ll be happy next week when I start 3rd shift which is from 9pm to 0500.  Tell me which work shift you prefer to work in the comments below.  Thanks again for reading.


Posted: August 8, 2016 in Creative Writing
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Like I said in my update post, we got approved for our house.  While that’s great news, it also makes a whole new set of problems for me.  Since all my stuff is in Kentucky, and I have a 7-month pregnant wife, that leaves me with figuring out how to get all our household stuff up here to Illinois.

I have a plan in that regards and it’s going to make for an incredibly rough weekend.  When I get off work on Friday, I will be driving down to Kentucky, loading a moving truck on Saturday, and driving said truck to Illinois as soon as it’s loaded.  I’ll then sleep Saturday night, wake up Sunday and empty the truck so I can return it and be ready for work on Monday.  So in less than a 24 hour period I’ll drive to Kentucky and back again.

So while overall the news on the house is great, I’m really dreading this weekend.  Also since I’ll be gone this weekend that means I have to get all my weekly stuff done before I leave, so my homework, laundry, and that sort of thing.  Here’s to hoping that everybody has a good week and weekend.  Thanks again for reading, and until next time.


Posted: August 8, 2016 in Creative Writing
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So as usual life has been pretty hectic for me.  Thursday we had a storm which knocked out the power, so I wasn’t able to get a post out there.  Friday was my birthday, so I was out doing things with friends and family.  Friday was a pretty big day for me not just because of my birthday, but also because we found out that we were approved for our house.  I went and made the deposit, and we get to move in this weekend (Sunday).

Other than that and work not too much has been going on with me.  This week is my last week of training, and then I get to start working my shifts (YAY!!!).  I feel that training has been going pretty well for me, I’ve learned a lot about the plant and where/what all of our systems do.

The only other thing I wanted to talk about was the direction of my blog.  I’ve been debating starting up another blog that would cover all the life events for me, while this blog would go back to what I had originally intended it for which was solely nerd and fitness related posts.  So what do you think about that thought?  Let me know in the comments below.

Well, I think that just about wraps up my update.  Sorry, I missed so many days in a row, I’ll try to keep the posts coming, but like I said sometimes life just keeps throwing snags.  As always thanks for reading, and until next time.

I have played Magic the Gathering off and on for many years.  Throughout those years I never tried to collect any full sets of cards, but instead just built the decks that I wanted.  Well, I recently got back into Magic and decided to change things up a little bit.  I haven’t decided whether I’m going to play Magic this type or just collect the sets, but I started collecting the Eldritch Moon set which just launched the other week.

I walked into the hobby shop and bought one pre-release pack, one fat pack, and one booster box just to see how much of the set I could get.  After opening up all the packs, I found I am only missing 17 of the 205 cards, so I’m doing really well.  I have all the most expensive cards in the set, so I think instead of buying more packs I’m just going to order all the individual cards that I need.

The 17 cards that I’m missing are:

#2- Decimator of the Provinces
#6- Emrakul, the Promised End
#17- Collective Effort
#20-Deploy the Gatewatch
#39- Sanctifier of Souls
#42- Sigardian Priest
#64- Indentity Thief
#65- Imprisoned in the Moon
#70- Mind’s Dilation
#99- Oath of Liliana
#130- Hanweir, the Writhing Township
#136- Mirrowing Dragon
#156- Emrakul’s Evangel
#176- Ulvenwald Observer
#197- Lupine Prototype
#200- Stitcher’s Graft
#204- Hanweir Battlements

Well, those are the cards that I still need to complete my set.  If you know, anyone who has copies of those cards let me know.  After I finish this set, I may work back and get some of the other sets that I missed.  I will start collecting each set from now on, though, so even if I don’t play, I’ll at least have a good collection of cards.

As always thanks for reading.  If you play any Trading Card Games let me know which one in the comments below.  Do you prefer to get just the cards you need to play or do you like to collect entire sets?  Thanks again for reading, comments/likes/shares/follows are greatly appreciated and will help me to continuously improve as a writer.  Until next time.







New problems

Posted: August 2, 2016 in Creative Writing
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Now that we think we have found a house another problem has arisen.  All of our stuff is Kentucky and with me being on probation at work, it is going to be very difficult to get our household stuff up here.  We have looked at several options and are trying to decide which is our best option.

Option one is to get a pod.  For those that don’t know what a pod is, it’s basically a mobile storage unit that gets dropped where you want it, and then they ship it to your new location.  Obviously, this is a tempting option since I’m in Illinois and April is pregnant, but it has one very big shortcoming.  That option will cost us $1900!!  That’s a lot of money and money that I can’t be spending to do that.

Our second option is better in regards to money, but it’s shortcomings are time and energy.  The second option is to get a Uhaul.  I would have to drive down to Kentucky on my weekend off, load up all our stuff, and drive back in time to be at work on Monday.  Obviously, it’s not very appealing to me, but it’s also $1400 cheaper so it’s probably the option I’ll go with.

This was a short post, but just thought I would let you know that I have been faced with new problems.  No real big issue, just a giant pain in the butt.  Thanks for reading and let me know if you’ve ever had issues like this.  As usual, all likes/comments/shares/follows are greatly appreciated and will help me to improve.  Until next time…

The sun beat down angrily, on a lonely sandy trail in the foothills surrounding a bustling military base.  Trudging wearily through the sand was a lone figure wearing combat fatigues, load bearing equipment, and a large rucksack that looked ready to topple the Soldier if he grew careless.  He was a short, stocky man, with wild black hair that sprouted from his patrol cap, which he was trying to use without success to mitigate some of the sun’s harsh glare.

With each step he dug his feet deeply into the sand, trying to gain enough purchase to push off again.  Every time he took a step his ripple soled jungle boots left a slowly fading trail in the sand showing his progress.  The muscles in his legs were working endlessly between the walking, and carrying the large pack on his back.

Pausing for a moment, he wearily looked down at the watch strapped to his wrist, while at the same time sucked water voraciously from the camelback straw that was looped over his right shoulder leading to his rucksack.  He had already been walking for eight hours and the strain from the pack on his back was already starting to wear on him.  His trek was only one third of the way over and already the seed of doubt was starting to spread in his mind.  “Will I be able to complete this task?”

As he was getting ready to start moving again, he heard the unmistakable sound of an ATV churning up the sand behind him.  Over a short hill behind him rode a figure dressed similarly to him on a large green ATV with a rack on the back.  In the rack were several five-gallon water cans with water sloshing through them.

“Candidate 205, do you need water?” Asked the figure, referring to the number sewn on the man’s uniform and rucksack.

“Negative SSG Towne,” he said, while grabbing the straps on his pack and giving each a sharp tug in order to tighten them and pull the pack higher on his back.

“How about a nice cool shower, and a hot meal?”  asked SSG Towne with a grin.  “All you have to do is say the magic words, I QUIT.”

“Negative SSG Town,” he repeated, slowly turning and continuing his journey through the sand.

“Ok, well maybe next time 205,” said SSG Towne, as he turned his ATV back on and roared down the trail in the direction that candidate 205 was headed.

“My how I would love a nice shower, and some real food, but a nice warm bed sounds so much better,” said 205 putting his head down, leaning forward slightly and digging into the sand with his feet again.

Glancing at his watch again, he felt his heart drop, realizing that only another hour had gone by.  It felt like he had been walking for an eternity, yet he had only walked for a total of nine hours, leaving fifteen to go.  His mind instantly started cycling through everywhere he would rather be instead of rucking through a continuous sand trail, causing countless blisters and the sorest shoulders he had ever had.

As soon as the thoughts entered his mind it started a vicious chain reaction within him, and all he wanted to do was quit and go home.  He missed his wife, and his young son who was just starting to walk.  Closing his eyes, he could picture them both vividly.  His wife’s long black hair that flowed down to her lower back.  Her elegant brown eyes, small nose, and her tan that never seemed to fade.  His son who is a short, and chubby and is always stumbling into walls and falling down.

With all the thoughts flooding through his mind, he couldn’t even concentrate enough to keep walking.  Reaching to his chest, he unclipped his top buckle that kept his ruck close to his chest.  His waist strap was the next to be undone and with that, he let the heavy bag fall into the sand with a dull thud, that was swallowed up by the light sand.  Looking around he slumped down onto the bag with an exasperated sigh, and laid his head in his hands to process his thoughts.

“That’s it,” he said to himself.  “I’ll quit as soon as SSG Town comes back around to harass me.”  With that he decided to lean back against his ruck and take a quick power nap while he waited for cadre to come around so he could VW or voluntarily withdrawal.  Leaning back, he pulled his patrol cap down to cover his eyes from the glaring sunlight.  Closing his eyes, he was about to fall asleep, but instead went back to his thoughts.

How could he quit and then look at his family the same way?  Would they think less of him knowing that he had made it this far only to give up and quit when it started to get difficult?  All he knew for sure is that he didn’t want to set that kind of example for his little boy.

Planting both hands in the soft sand he forced himself to stand with a groan.  Standing at the front of his ruck he reached down with both hands, grabbed both straps, bent his knees and while flexing his back, flung the bag over his head and onto his back.  Grabbing both straps again he pulled hard and made sure his bag was sitting high on his back.  With that he reoriented himself towards the direction he was supposed to be headed, and once again started his seemingly endless trek.

Standing in the distance inside a swathe of trees was SSG Towne, who’d watched the entire ordeal play itself out.  With a slight crooked smile on his face, he moved over to his ATV parked into the shade, mounted it, turned it on and headed towards 205.  “Candidate 205, do you need water?” He asked.